Family jokes
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why don't orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Your mom #69.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Why don't orphans have a site page?
Because there's no home page.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home base.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a homepage though.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.