Family jokes
Hi, son.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Yo mamma sucks!
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.