Family jokes
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why can’t an orphan play GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He couldn’t get to home base.
Hi, son.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.