Face jokes

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

Bunger got me like:

😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"