I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Wanna hear a joke?
Your face.
Your face.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
