Face

Face Jokes

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

What's the difference between Andy and acne?

Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

3

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face as you climax.

3

My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

5

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

3

What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.