Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Face Jokes
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Your face is a joke.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
