Face jokes
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"