A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “sandy hook”.
I told my dad, " I just thought of something funny." He said, ..." Your face?"
Um honey I'm glad your done but um WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I"M PRETTY SURE FACES DON"T BEND THAT WAY!!
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fell off.
i have the funniest joke ever here it is... ur face
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer;)
If u ever get board just punch a orphan in the face whats he going to do tell hi parents
Mo sal f
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
That's not my age; it's just not true. My heart is young; the time just flew. I'm staring at this strange old face,and someone else is in my space.
God creates a wasp :) God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly. Angel: okay... a bug. God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth. Angel: weird.. but okay... God: and give it wings. Angel: eh, not half bad Go- God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS Angel: *shook* o-okay God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out. Angel: .-. God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin* Angel: *cries* Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
If I had a face like yours, I’d sew my parents!
you look like barney i ́m choking you too and your face is turning all purple and blue
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest, The zit waits tell your 12 to cum on your face
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
Why did steward not recieve his passport? Because his face was not valid!
It squrted in my eye god dammit
