Face jokes

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

"Face the wall!"

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?

When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

You got a pig head!

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

Your face is so big that not even you can see it.