What do u call a blind kid with an eye patch an no arms, Names
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
I can cry but I don't have eyes i can fly but i don't have wings who am i?
A cloud
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, âThis Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Gripâ
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, âWhatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death gripâ.
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, âI didnât see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?â
With heavy breath, John told him âWell coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.â
âWhat???â Said the coach... âJohn I donât think that is legal. You could be disqualifiedâ
âI donât know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ainât got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own ballsâ
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they dont have another pair of Balls
We clap when we see you we clap our hands over our eyes
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man"? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven". Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : "What is it?" A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : "Do you mind if we swap places"? Sister Bernadette replies : "What for"? Sister Carmel says : "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there"!
Why are Chinese so good at jay-walking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I donât know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
roll your eyes back you might find a brain back there
What has 2 arms 2 legs 2 eyes 2 breasts for milking and a hole to fill with my 9 inches? A sexy female
What do you call a animal with 3 eyes 2 mouth 6 noses and 4 ears
I think my dad is to black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes he disappears .đ¤Ł
What colors were Kurt Cobains eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!