Explain jokes

Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."

Me: "Why did you?"

Mom: "I was very drunk..."

Explains a lot...

Teacher: Why do people snore?

Me: Because they sleep.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

My friend has a dry sense of humor.

Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.

Two orphans fighting in the rain.

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

What do you call an @EB with no ears?

An Explain B.