Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
Hi Explain Bear, how are youuu!
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
A Girl walks into the church and confesses..
Girl " Forgive me father for i have sinned"
Priest "How have you you sinned may i ask?"
Girl " I called a man a son of a bitch"
Priest " Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"
Girl " He held my hand '
Priest " Like this? ( he holds the girl's hand)
Girl " Yes father"
Priest " That does not explain why you called a man a bitch"
Girl " He started taking off my clothes "
Priest " Like this? " ( He takes off the girls clothes)
Girl " yes father "
Priest " that also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch "
Girl " Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what "
Priest " Like this? " ( he puts his you know what into her you know what )
Girl " YES FATHER !! YES FATHER !!!
Priest " Then what? "
Girl " Then he got up and left me naked "
Priest " THAT SON OF A BITCH!! "
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
