The 80+ Best Explain Jokes

It was an emotional wedding even the cake was in tiers{if I explain it it will ruin the joke}

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. -- But he's still making fun of me.

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

A blind man walks into a woman’s bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says before you tell your joke you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols, do you still want to tell that joke cowboy. He thought for a second and said not if I have to explain it five times.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

*My mom trying to get me to do dishes*

Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes.

Me: Why did you?

Mom: I was very drunk...

Explains a lot...

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside

I can explain Superman and Batman movie in one sentence

Two orphans fighting in the rain.

many years of sex in the dark. The wife find out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says "explain the dildo prick" the husband says "explain the children bitch"!

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she's blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i'm blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain't explaining the joke 4 times.

A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dads pants. Little Johnny says "That explains what the lady next door was doing"

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."

"Wait! I can explain everything."

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. (If I explain it, it won't make be funny this is a old joke my friend told me)

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot. Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand. Mother: Do you understand. Leo: No.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”