Existence jokes

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.

In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂

My entire existence.

Life.

Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?

My life.

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

Your life, ahhahaha!

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key.

Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

Living and realizing you've been born into one.

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

My life, there, that was the joke.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

When you breathe.

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.

Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.

I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.

Feel free to comment.

What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

None.

They're both imaginary.

My life...

Wanna hear a mean joke?

My life.

What do you call a person?

A person.

Why can't you fool an aborted baby?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

My life.

Why did the pillow cross the road?

Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.