Root jokes
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Being a man that is poor really isn't that bad as long as you are involved in the world's oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills.
Lack of money is the root of all evil. 😊
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
Humanity.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Beans
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?