Root jokes
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Being a man that is poor really isn't that bad as long as you are involved in the world's oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills.
Lack of money is the root of all evil. 😊
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
Humanity.
Community talk
so there is this guy, let's call him snape. snape is eggman (my crush)'s bestie, and there is something... suspicious about him. there was this one time he said i had the biggest asian eyes, when it is clearly my bully's brother. I personally think my eyes are pretty small, and definetely smaller than my bully's brother's. I have no idea why snape is rooting for someone that is not his friend. plz lmk if this sus
If you forget me Poem: I want you to know one thing.
You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now, if little by lit… Read more
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