Existence jokes
I took a sip of water.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Abdi and Tunde are real.
Memes
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
These jokes make me want to die.
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
Louie's parents tried this.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
Your life. That's all.