Existence jokes
My dick is longer than your life.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
I took a sip of water.
Abdi and Tunde are real.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
These jokes make me want to die.
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
Louie's parents tried this.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*