Existence jokes
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
Memes
I took a sip of water.
Abdi and Tunde are real.
Louie's parents tried this.
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
These jokes make me want to die.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.