Existence jokes
I took a sip of water.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Abdi and Tunde are real.
Memes
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
Louie's parents tried this.
These jokes make me want to die.
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Here's a joke: Your life decisions.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*