Existence

Existence jokes

Bed

So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

Animal

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?

A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

Bigfoot

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

Degree

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Swing

Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Susie.

People

The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.

Woman

What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.

Orphan

What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.

God

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?