Me. I am the worst joke ever.
Existence Jokes
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
My life.
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.
My dick is longer than your life.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?