Existence jokes
You know Sally? She's dead now.
Me.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday...
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
Memes
This is me.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Me. I am the worst joke ever.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
My life.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
My dick is longer than your life.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.