Existence jokes
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
My sad ass life.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Oliver.
Oliver who?
Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹
A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"
Dad: "Because I’m gay."
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*
Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"
Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."
The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."
Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"
Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"
Son: "But it was a nightmare..."
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"
The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
My life.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
Dumb kid: What does homework mean?
Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?
Me:
"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"
Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.