I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. -- Which makes me an eighth theist.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said "My turn!".
i just wanted to say to never let go of family they are everything never let anyone walk all over you and if you are with me like this quote
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out everything moves backwards
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything
Why do nuns not wear bra's? God supports everything.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."
"Wait! I can explain everything."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
