Everything

Everything jokes

Thought

  • Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

    That's it, it wasn't a joke.

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  • Astronaut

  • Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions-

    Astro-naut

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean

    She say that I'm cool (damn straight)

    I'm like "yeah, that's true" (that's true)

    I believe in G-O-D (ayy)

    Don't believe in T-H-O-T

    She keep playing me dumb (play me)

    I'ma play her for fun (uh-huh)

    Y'all don't really know my mental

    Lemme give you the picture like stencil

    Falling out, in a drought

    No flow, rain wasn't pouring down (pouring down)

    See, that pain was all around

    See, my mode was kinda lounged

    Didn't know which-which way to turn

    Flow was cool but I still felt burnt

    Energy up, you can feel my surge

    I'ma kill everything like this purge (ayy)

    Let's just get this straight for a second, I'ma work

    Even if I don't get paid for progression, I'ma get it (get it)

    Everything that I do is electric

    I'ma keep it in a motion, keep it moving like kinetic, ayy (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Put this shit in a frame, better know I don't blame

    Everything that I say, man I seen you deflate

    Let me elevate, this ain't a prank

    Have you walkin' on a plank, la-la-la-la-la, like

    Both hands together, God, let me pray (now let me pray)

    Uh, I've been going right, right around, call that relay (Masked Wolf)

    Pass the baton, back and I'm on

    Swimming in the pool, Kendrick Lamar, uh

    Want a piece of this, a piece of mine, my peace a sign

    Can you please read between the lines?

    My rhyme's inclined to break your spine

    They say that I'm so fine

    You could never match my grind

    Please do not, not waste my time

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean.

    Hater

  • jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.

    Slave

  • As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

    "Them slaves taking credit for everything."

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  • Daddy

  • Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!

    Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?

    Child: I just felt like it.

    The next day, the Grandpa is dead.

    Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.

    Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.

    Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?

    Child: I just felt like it.

    The next day, the Grandma is dead.

    Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.

    Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!

    Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!

    Survives until tomorrow.

    Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*

    Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!

    (If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)

  • 0
  • Gun

  • I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

    Atom

  • Hey, you wanna hear something funny?

    An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.

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  • Hypocrite

  • A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.

    Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.

    Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?

    Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?

    Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.

    Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.

    Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.

    (5 seconds later)

    Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!

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  • Half

  • I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

    Darkness

  • Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.

    She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

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  • Accident

  • So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

    A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

    My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

    Woman

  • What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

    They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

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  • Penaldo

  • Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

    Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

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