Event Jokes

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

LIKE IF YOUR NOT BLACK

A man with a beard looks annoyed. The text says, "You go to school, nothing happens. You miss one day. 6 fights, Tupac comes back, school had a blackout & Beyonce performed in the cafeteria."

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

...

Their knees.

*Ba dum tss*

Dear Grad Parents,

Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.

There will be more information to follow in the coming days.

Thank you.

Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.

What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.

Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”

The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.

9/11

At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"

At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"

Where did Sally go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.

It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.

Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up, feminists, please.