Event jokes

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

SEX Some Event Xaern

Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?

9/11 victim!

What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

...

...

Their knees.

*Ba dum tss*

Dear Grad Parents,

Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.

There will be more information to follow in the coming days.

Thank you.

She blew on it, and it went hard.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Where did Sally go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"

At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"