Christmas Eve jokes
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
It's that time of year again. 🎄🎅🤶🎄
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Community talk
Merry Christmas’ Eve!
Hi guys just wanted to update yal on some stuff First off remember I’ll be off from Christmas Eve to New Year’s Day because I have double jaw surgery. Second off ppl have been asking my eyes feel weirdly a lot better Third off I’m having a better time then I was a while ago I mean I have a bf and stuff now but like idk were great he’s so fine omg Fourth off my mental health is not great right now (Asian parents, surgery, school, etc) so I might be kinda venting idk just y’all don’t have to pay attention at all Bye