Event

Event jokes

Shooting

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

Friend

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Rock

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

9/11

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!

9/11

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

Seafood

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Fire

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Football Game

My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.

I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.

Sleepover

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.

Helen Keller

When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,

Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.

People

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"