There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
What has 5 legs 3 arms and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
Everyone, take off your pride flags; it's already a new month.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
