What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
WJE officially a gone memory
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
His girls clapped, BTW. 😬
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
why did the the skeleton not go to prom? because he had no BODY to go with
What’s an orphans least favorite school event? Home coming!
Stop making 9/11 jokes guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says you’re next When we attend aFuneral, I say you’re next
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have? Because no one forgets it! :))
If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?
