Event jokes
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! ðŸ˜
What happened when the man died? Yes.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Prom (DYM 85).
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
Ammon died.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
9/11, 911, same thing.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
This will happen in your future, though, now because you're mean.
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!