Even jokes

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

What does a man with 20 children do now?

Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

I mess up goats for unicorns?

Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.

I don't even know.

Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.

You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.