Even jokes

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!

Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.

Ever heard of account stealing?

Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.

You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.