Even jokes

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.

The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."

"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.

"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!

I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."

JK.

Asian Grading scale: A- Average.

B- Half Average.

C- Stupid idiot!

D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!

F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!

My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

Your hairline so far back.

Even LeBron James had a good laugh!

Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!

There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.

Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!

A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.