My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!
Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
