Escape

Escape jokes

Gay Guy

    • Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

    A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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    • Suicide

    • There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

    One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

    Prison

    • I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

    Crime

    • What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

    I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

  • 3

    • Dog

    • If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

    They're trained for that.

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    • Escape memes

    Shovel

    • If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

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    • Child

    • I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

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    • Draft

    • So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."

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    • Blonde

    • Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"

    Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"

    The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:

    "Fire!"

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    • Sausage

    • Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

    Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

    "Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

    "Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

    When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

    The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

    After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

    "How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

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    • Lion

    • Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.

    As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.

    Then one stops and asks his companion:

    "Does this taste funny to you?"

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