Escape Jokes

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

What did the koala do when he was to educated He ran away from koalapidia

A prisoner dug out of prison, he appeared in a playground, he said, "I'm free, I'm free." A kid said, "so what I'm four."

I am not making a noose I am making a unsubscribe button for life.

Ukraine be like escape to witch mountain!

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail? There is a small medium at large. (Pause For Laughter)

What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?

--the cops had to comb the area

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;

Copyright: Cade

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”

Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

So he could make a clean getaway

What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?

A Small Medium at Large.

How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?

Clucky!

Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first. The one on the top or the bottom?

The bottom because his shits already packed.

Call me Kobe Bryant cause imma helicopter out of this one

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents. And I lost my job as zookeeper.

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack

why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanige? Because he want to get money to buy a familly since they wolnt buy him.

So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.