Escape Jokes

So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”

Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first. The one on the top or the bottom?

The bottom because his shits already packed.

Call me Kobe Bryant cause imma helicopter out of this one

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.

why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanige? Because he want to get money to buy a familly since they wolnt buy him.

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack

what does the twin towers and school have in common... people jumped off a building to escape it.

I once saw an orphan... Decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"...... They didn't reply.... I kept asking them.... They started crying.... I started laughing.... They ran away.....

Why did the kid who was blind, in jail need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot how many are there still on the fence

None the rest fly away

a guy crashed his ford suv he couldnt ESCAPE.

why did not the toilet paper make it across the road to excape the corano virise

What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place "Now sashimi now you don't"

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large.

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”