Entertainment jokes
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
PORNHUB
How does a rapper keep track of time?
With his rhyming watch!
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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