Entertainment Jokes

POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revoir, GGG

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

This is real, sorta

A movie poster style image with Arnold Schwarzenegger front and center, looking serious. He's in a red State Farm polo shirt. Behind him are people. At the bottom, a family, and another State Farm agent rescuing a girl from an explosion. The text says "SCHWARZENEGGER" at the top, "AGENT STATE FARM" in the middle, and "WHEN THE WORLD NEEDED A GOOD NEIGHBOR, HE WAS THERE." plus additional small print.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?

Black and white.

Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.

One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.

Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!