Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
