Emotion

Emotion jokes

Depression

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.

I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.

... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

Self Harm

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

Self Harm

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

Depression

A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."

Trampoline

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Pineapple

Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.

The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣

Mood

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

Self Harm

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

Death

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

Mom

My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.

Watermelon

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.