What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
My favorite joke is my life.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
