Elephant jokes
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
Ganesha is an elephant.