Safari jokes

Africa.

What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?

Naked and Afraid.

What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

A water gun...

What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.

What animal lies? A lion.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...

Africa has every gun except for what?

A water gun.

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.