Eight Jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?

There's twenty of them.

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, then why was 10 afraid? Because it was right in the middle of 9/11.

So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.

The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.

So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.

What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?

Raped an eight-year-old girl.

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

Why is six so scared? Because seven eight nine! 😂

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”