Eight jokes

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”

The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?

There's twenty of them.

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, then why was 10 afraid? Because it was right in the middle of 9/11.

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.

So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.

The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.

So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”

What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?

Raped an eight-year-old girl.

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

Why is six so scared? Because seven eight nine! 😂

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.