Eight jokes

Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!

Why is 6 scared of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.

Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?

It was Eight-Nothing.

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?

Eight-nothing.

My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because seven eight (ate) nine.

Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?

Answer: Because they already ate.

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.