Education jokes

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

What did the math book say to the other math book?

Wanna hear my problems?

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?

"Stand" Ford University. :3

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

What is the difference between preschools and my basement?

Little kids come out of preschool.

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.

I cum (Can't understand math).

I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.

When I got to school, I was speechless.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

"Good, but where's the p?"

"Running down my leg."

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.