Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
I cum (Can't understand math).
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
