Education

Education jokes

Frog

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

Kahoot

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

Grade

Asian Grading scale: A- Average.

B- Half Average.

C- Stupid idiot!

D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!

F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!

Number

Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!

Memes

Bacon

One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

Son

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

Canada

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

Orphan

Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

A parent's signature was required.

School

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

Class

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

Pedophile

How do people grade pedophiles?

1st grade to 8th grade.

(I know it's orphan jokes but still)

Orphan

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

Wheelchair

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

Shooting

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

Name

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

Koala

What did the koala do when he was too educated?

He ran away from koalapidia.