Education jokes

Why can’t orphans go to college?

'Cause they have no one to talk to.

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Pencil.

Pencil who?

Oh, never mind, it's pointless.

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Answer: Because 7 8 9.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

Barney-1 2 3 what number comes next?

Barney-that’s right it’s penis!

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

Where do pedophiles go hunting?

Elementary schools.

What are the best shooting ranges in America?

Schools.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?

Because he needs the parent's signature.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.