Education jokes

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?

You've got a lot of problems!

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?

accepted all art students

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

Why did the math book kill itself?

It had too many problems.