Education jokes

Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!

What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.

I love ❤️ going to school 🏫.

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?

Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.

Student: Ok!!

Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?

Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.

Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.

Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

How is being gay like a geology class?

You get to lick all the rocks you want.

What is 2+2? Fish.

High school is amazing. Like if you agree!

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.

Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"

Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"

Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)

What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.

Q: Why did the teacher die?

A: Because he hated his life.

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

Son, what is 1 plus 1?

Dad, I don't know.

Son, it is 2.

Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.

I can’t wait for collage....

5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...