Education jokes

How is being gay like a geology class?

You get to lick all the rocks you want.

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

What is 2+2? Fish.

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.

I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.

Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"

Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"

Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)

What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.

Q: Why did the teacher die?

A: Because he hated his life.

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

I can’t wait for collage....

5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.

Son, what is 1 plus 1?

Dad, I don't know.

Son, it is 2.

Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.

What is a cow's favorite class in school?

Moosic.

Hi 👋 magic school 🏫.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

I found this at school.