Education jokes

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

What is 9+9? 18.

What is 9+10? 19.

What is 9+11? -2996.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

Why was the math book sad at the rapper?

Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

So three retards walk into a classroom...

Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school"?

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.

What did the teacher say to the student?

Orange you glad to see me?

Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

1. They usually happen in the USA.

2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

My grades.

What is yellow but can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

What is yellow and can’t fly?

A school bus.

Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.

The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"

When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.

When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!

I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"