Education jokes

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

He was a head of his class... Mom always says, "Stay ahead!"

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from school?

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 ate 9!

I love the letters of the alphabet.

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!

Why was the math book sad at the rapper?

Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.

So three retards walk into a classroom...

Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school"?

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.

What did the teacher say to the student?

Orange you glad to see me?

Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

1. They usually happen in the USA.

2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.