Education jokes

Barney-1 2 3 what number comes next?

Barney-that’s right it’s penis!

Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?

quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/

How do Americans learn the metric system?

9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

What does e equal?

I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.

How do bees get to school?

They take the buzz.

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Answer: Because 7 8 9.

At an school 🏫 what is your school's name?

What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.

One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.

Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The end.

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

“I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.

“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

“Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"

Why is 8 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 ate 9.

Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?

A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.

My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?

What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?

A Panera grade.

What time is it when you walk out to the school?

Time to go to school!

I got an F in science. F stands for Fantastic!

I miss school so much.

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

What is a magic school?

A school that can fly.