Education jokes
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.