I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
me,'' i came home laughing'' parents,'' what's wrong'' me,''the teacher asked everyone a question luckily i was the only one who had known'' parents,'' good for you johnny what was the fantastic question your teacher had gave everyone and only knew'' me,'' well its kinda complicated but here it goes'' parents,''what is it'' me,''WHO FARTED.''
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of children
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
Playing a game called 7-up. Student- why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers? Teacher- it's cheating! Student- No! it's the object of the game.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Goes to school with blue suppresed pistol #1victory royals
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
