Education jokes
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! π€¬
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
Whatβs a lungβs favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
What is a gay school boy's favorite grade?
D+.