New Education Jokes - Page 29

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.