Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.
China.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
I charge 50 bucks a suck.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
