I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Eating Jokes
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
