Omnom.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Why do orphans eat cerial without milk? Because thier dad never came home from the store.
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
I eat cockroaches.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
