Eating

Eating jokes

Fast

    • The Fast of Ramadan

    In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.

    For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!

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    • Bunny

    • This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

    Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

    Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

    Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

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    • Coffin

    • What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

    Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

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    • Eating memes

    Diabetes

    • A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.

    When the doctor saw this, he said,

    "From Type 2 Diabetes!"

    Get it?

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    • Elephant

    • Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

    A: To hide up cherry trees.

    Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

    A: Giraffes eating cherries.

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    • Friend

    • My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

    So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

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    • Fred

    • Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

    In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

    As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

    She replies, "No".

    Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

    His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

    Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

    She replies, "No."

    Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

    His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

    After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

    His mom says "No."

    He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

    His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

    He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

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    • Tylenol

    • A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

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    • Anniversary

    • Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...

    J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*

    A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

    Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

    What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

    A DG (dee gay)

    What does lava use when it can't walk properly?

    A volCANEo

    What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?

    They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)

    What is Satan's favorite DJ?

    MarshHELLo

    What do neck breakers use?

    Snapchat

    What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?

    Instagraham crackers

    Is this the last joke?

    No

    What is similar between a dog and my ex?

    They are both commonly known as bitches

    What number has a flu from a pig?

    Nine flu (swine flu)

    What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

    BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Who is the best anime girl?

    Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

    Why did Sally get caned?

    Because old men hurriCANED.

    That was all

    OR WAS IT?

    Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

    9/11

    • A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

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