Eating jokes
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
It's true though
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Omnom.
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”