Eating jokes
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
Orphans will eat toes for food.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"