Eating jokes

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

When he died, the Angel came back for him.

"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

Dear Hearing People,

We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

What's better than a pile of dead babies?

One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

A brain eats cheddar cheese.

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.

Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.

Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?

To make room in the freezer for his special meat.

What do Africans eat for breakfast?

E-bola Cornflakes.

What do orphans eat for breakfast?

Daddy-O's.

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

What do squats eat? Numbers.

Why can't fat kids play poker?

They eat all the chips.

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.